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The one ring to rule them all. OK, maybe she won’t appreciate it as much as you do (so probably don’t use it for that romantic proposal you’ve planned at the top of Mount Doom), but this unmistakable iconic ring will make you feel like you’re a four-feet-tall, hairy-footed hero. Bind things in the darkness and go on long windy walks with friends that say second-breakfast and elevenses.

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Forget the donuts. Krispy Kreme now comes in a jelly bean. No more carrying around a big box of 24 doughy heart-attacks-waiting-to-happen. Now you can indulge discreetly, one sweet, chewy treat at a time. Five gourmet flavours and ~25 beans of each flavour. You’ll be wondering why donuts are even a thing anymore.

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I know what you’re thinking “EWEEEE!”. And yes, the thought of unplugging your dirty, greasy, gunked-up pores is not the most romantic or sexy thought. But, can you tell me you don’t find popping a pimple, zit, or blackhead satisfying? Of course you do. These Charcoal Pore Strips just make that satisfaction more immediate, and efficient. Spread it on, wait, and peel it off. See those icky oil plugs pop out and feel instantly gratified.

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No question – watermelon would be 1000% better if you didn’t have to cut, peel, ball, or de-pip it. This invention is so simple, it’s surprising it’s taken this long to come to market. Place and push down. Much like a French press, a plunger, or dunking your sibling at the pool. This melon slicer turns a messy afternoon into a five-second job. Brilliant.

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Be careful what you wish for. Never again will they say, ‘just bring yourself’ or ‘all I want for Christmas is you’. Get them what they asked for – nothing, in a box.